


misery loves company

by pearthery



Category: Gintama
Genre: M/M, POV Second Person, there is a short description of a graphic decomposition process, they just like being rude i think, they just vibe on the same rancid wavelength!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:08:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27490111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearthery/pseuds/pearthery
Summary: "Good evening!" the Yato chirrups. His eyes are wide and blue, and he blinks slow and careful, as if he is reminding himself to do so."Good evening," Sougo deadpans. "How has your tour of Edo been? Would you like to finish it with a trip to jail?"[Very, very tiny ficlets about two terrible, terrible boys.]
Relationships: Kamui/Okita Sougo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	misery loves company

**Author's Note:**

> i have decided to dismiss the constraints of shame and self-control and post recklessly!!! i was doing some writing exercises with a word generator, and they were fun, so i have decided to post them!! may you enjoy the terrible boys!! and may i gain a better grasp of their characters!

**cockroach**

"You really are like a cockroach, aren't you?" says the policeman, gazing down at you with a dour expression. He fingers the bazooka hoisted on his shoulder and wrinkles his nose. "Go back to where you came from." 

"Oh," you reply sweetly. "Back to your bed, then, I suppose." You tilt your head to the side and lunge at him.

He dodges with a swift roll to the side and you laugh, high and gleeful. Would he tumble like that in the sheets, you wonder. His claws are red with blood, and you would like to test them against yours. He is _such_ a fun opponent. Though he really shouldn't leave his stomach so open, so vulnerable. It is soft and fleshy. So different from your warring bones.

The policeman cocks a wry grin and his pupils turn to black slits. "What are you suggesting, you criminal? That my room is a mess?"

"Well, they do say that a person's bedroom is a reflection of who they are inside." You twist in the air, the line of your body curving around the strike of his sword. The policeman narrows his eyes, his mouth a narrow line, his blade narrowly missing your shoulder as he moves again, and the two of you dance in the streets like stoats.

"Huh," says the policeman. "I wonder what that says about you, pirate. Apart from guns and cannons, that ship of yours must be pretty empty." He grins again and this time he shows his teeth.

**seduce**

Sougo watches from beneath his lashes as the Yato saunters up to the bench he has been sleeping on, umbrella tossed loosely over his slim shoulder. It looks deceivingly harmless, more like a flimsy purple accessory than the weapon it really is. No sign of the devastation it must have caused. No sign of the ghosts that must be clinging to the wireframe, trapped in the taut membrane. Much like its owner, then.

"Good evening!" the Yato chirrups. His eyes are wide and blue, and he blinks slow and careful, as if he is reminding himself to do so. 

"Good evening," Sougo deadpans. "How has your tour of Edo been? Would you like to finish it with a trip to jail?"

The Yato pouts. He steps forward and leans over the bench, furrows his brow, and perhaps he would have looked sorrowful, maybe even endearing, if Sougo was not privy to the knowledge that he was an intergalactic mass-murderer. But, as it is, Sougo _is_ in fact privy to the knowledge that this is an intergalactic mass-murderer, and he counters the vicious, wild thing that is China's brother with a blank stare.

The other boy drops his facade and smiles, straightening up, and he looks a little more like the beast that Sougo had cut with his sword now. 

But he looks sweet even still. A charming little smile, with dimples in each cheek. Button nose. Dumb red hair sticking up from the top of his head. His lashes dark against the canvas of his face, neat braid resting on the slope of his neck, his locks hanging from his temples. Sougo thinks about reaching up and wrapping his hands around them, threading his fingers through the blood-red strands and pulling, dragging his nails down that pale cheek. 

"Arrested? But why? Whatever have I done?" says the Yato. His mouth is red. Sougo doesn't think about why.

**bubble**

"Did you know that corpses can explode?" says Kamui cheerfully. 

Sougo, leaning against the slab of stone, slants a look at him. Kamui grins back and swings his legs, perched on top of the platform in the middle of the park, the one with the big grey statue. He makes a vague whooping noise as some kids get into a fight on the slide. 

"Do they? How'd you learn about that?" says Sougo, popping his bubblegum.

"There are loads of battlefields in space. And even if there aren't, then you can always make your own! That way the corpses will be extra fresh, and you can watch 'em fill up with gas all the way from the beginning until they start to bloat and explode!"

"That sounds messed up. You animals better not have been so reckless on earth."

"What a rude thing to say, Mr. Police Officer," he says, flopping over his knees and peering down. "I'll have ya know that I've been behaving perfectly. 

"Oh, yeah. You've definitely been a model guest."

"Exactly! What trouble have I got into? None, right? None. So why not take me off parole?"

"Parole?" says Sougo. "What makes you say that?" 

"Well, it seems that I haven't been allowed to have any alone time on Earth," Kamui muses. Their eyes lock together and Kamui maintains his gaze as he speaks. "It feels a lot like I'm being watched whereever I go. Have you ever felt watched, Mr. Police Officer? Scrutinised? It's not very pleasant, y'know."

"You don't seem to think that anything is pleasant," Sougo replies. "And that's a bit dramatic, don't you think? I know wild animals need their space, but I didn't expect them to be this demanding. You might be used to running around the galaxy, but here in Edo, you have to take what you're given." 

"And if I want more?" hums Kamui. 

Sougo pops another bubble. "Well, you might have to ask."


End file.
